pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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