my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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