what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
