Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.

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  (309): She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack. http://tfl.nu/09jw
  Replies (17) Good night (3016) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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  (416): Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat. http://tfl.nu/ucz3
  Replies (47) Good night (732) Bad night (6732) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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  (972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/2gcf
  Replies (32) Good night (13400) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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  (514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz
  Replies (19) Good night (817) Bad night (4450) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.

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  (971): I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa. http://tfl.nu/0b4p
  Replies (28) Good night (5625) Bad night (1554) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers

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  (404): It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers http://tfl.nu/xcf7
  Replies (3) Good night (2124) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

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  (760): my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night http://tfl.nu/6buy
  Replies (4) Good night (2387) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

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  (416): Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves". http://tfl.nu/iji3
  Replies (9) Good night (2578) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..

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  (570): Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." .. http://tfl.nu/4q08
  Replies (2) Good night (2251) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.

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  (716): Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests. http://tfl.nu/12h2
  Replies (11) Good night (2626) Bad night (781)
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  (212): View more from New York

  There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.

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  (212): There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke. http://tfl.nu/73go
  Replies (5) Good night (2144) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.

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  (978): Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fg6
  Replies (39) Good night (920) Bad night (6359) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.

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  (310): If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it. http://tfl.nu/2m7b
  Replies (12) Good night (1084) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  re read what you just said

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  (773): i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter (1-773): re read what you just said http://tfl.nu/07tx
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week

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  (770): Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week http://tfl.nu/af2g
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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