I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.