is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Canadian or clown?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.