if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
