The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
