talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize