Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i think im in europe. pls send help
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
