Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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