I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
