I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
