I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize