yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
