is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
