I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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