I just threw up on my dentist
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
