You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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