It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
