I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize