It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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