I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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