plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
