Your mouth is God's brothel.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
