Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
