wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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