Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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