Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
