OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
