he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize