His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
