clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
