I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
