She is in my trunk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize