i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
