I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy