They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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