If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
