he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize