So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
