Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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