He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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