So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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