At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
