just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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