I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
