Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
