now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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