Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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