wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
