And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've blown a few things in my day
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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