Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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