if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
