im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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