What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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