normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
